The embers turn to ash
by Mae'side
Summary: When a stranger appears in Camelot with a strong,indissoluble connection to Merlin, he forces a wide range of emotions to surface. Will Merlin's loyalty to Arthur be strong enough to overcome the storm that creates a rift between them? Chapter 11 is up!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N : Hey everyone! (waves) So, I promised you another Merlin/Arthur friendship story, and here it is! I'm sorry it took me a while to start this, but I had a LOT of trouble writing this first chapter, and I don't know why! The good news is : it's here! The bad news is : after tonight, I won't be. I'm leaving on holiday again - - yes, I know it's soon (I myself think it's a bit too soon, as well) but I can't help it! I'll be thinking of this story though, and I have a few conversations and things that will happen along the line already thought out in my head, so that's a good good thing.**

**That is, if you like this story. Please please please tell me if you do? It would mean the world to me!**

**a bit of info : this story takes place after the season finale, but is NOT set in the Brushfire Accident-universe, meaning : Arthur doesn't know about Merlin's gifts.**

**Xo, as always**

* * *

[Prologue: Arthur]

The silence was so heavy. If anything, Arthur wished that he could turn back time, to an era where the words had not been spoken, though in his mind they were probably dangerously close to the truth. Be that as it was, he had hurt the person standing in front of him by speaking his suspicions, and Merlin's hand, that had been raised in argument, fell slowly to his side. The movement, and the accompanying expression, were filled with bitter disappointment and a deep aching.

Merlin pushed back the rising emotion in his throat, not wanting to show how much the strung together sentence had cut him. If it had been any other argument, with any other person, Arthur would have been slightly proud, convinced that this was the only way to get out of a fight relatively unscathed. _You have to reign in your own emotions to land another blow, for if you do you will be walking away the victorious one._

This time, his own belly constricted when he looked at Merlin, the pain so clear in all his features. "Merlin.."

"Wow." Merlin breathed the word out, his chest rising and falling slowly. "I didn't think we'd ever get here.."

-

Merlin

If there was anything Merlin hated doing, it was fetching water. Knowing how exactly to position the large bucket so it actually weighed less rather than more was something he hadn't learned in his non existant training days to become servant to the _great prince Arthur_, and he experienced the downsides of that loss every time he went down to the courtyard.

Pushing the full bucket upwards with his knee so it pressed heavily against his chest, he couldn't contain the small groan that welled up inside of him when a large, smothered thump could be heard. Gwen smiled at him in passing. "You're doing great," she laughed reassuringly. "It took _me_ years to figure out the knee trick."

He gave her a pained smile before daring to venture back towards the castle, inch by inch, the water splashing against his chin every time he took a step. His fingers were turning a deeper color shade of red by the minute, and his back had started to hurt. _Great_.

What was even more great was the fact that, mere feet away from the door that held his salvation, he ran into someone – or rather, _they_ ran into him – and the barrel tumbled from his hands and onto his feet. The pain was excrutiating.

The culprit immediately hurried to pick the now empty vessel from the ground and held it out to him. "I'm _so so_ sorry," he quickly apologized, " I'll fetch you some more water."

The stranger momentarily had the nerve to look him in the eye, and when he did, confusion set in like a tidal wave. Merlin's head tilted towards the left, his brow furrowed together (the pain forgotten for a second). "Do I know you?"

"Uhm, I don't think so.." the man explained. Upon taking the time to study him, Merlin found out that the man was about 5' 8", with mousy brown hair and a light beard,making him look a bit younger than he actually was. The young boy guessed him to be about 30 years his senior, but the man didn't look a year over 4O. "I just moved to Camelot, y' see? I'm Garreth." He held out his hand for Merlin to shake. "..and I'm _very_ sorry about your water."

"Ah, don't mention it." Merlin shrugged, his eyes twinkling with a playful glint. "Just… get me a new bucket and carry it upstairs for me, and we'll forget all about it. I'm Merlin."

Garreth tensed unnoticeably, thankful the young boy had already turned his attention back to his chore at hand : staring at the place where the water had once been. There was a boy he had once known, carrying the very same name. A boy with a cute little pucker nose and dark, short strands of hair clinging to his tiny head. The small child of two years old flashed briefly in his memory. "Merlin… do you live in the Castle?"

"Sort of," Merlin thrusted the now empty object back into the man's arms, completely oblivious to what had just passed inside his thoughts. "I'm a servant."

"Ah." Garreth sighed. "The wonderful life of a serf."

"It's not so bad," Merlin grinned. "Just depends on who your master is, I guess."

"And who might this wonderous master of yours be, then?" Garreth prodded, his curiosity peaking.

"Arthur Pendragon." He explained with pride, a smile tugging at his lips. "The crown prince."

-

Arthur

When Merlin returned to his chamber _without _the promised water, he already felt a head ache coming on. The large smile his servant was supporting wasn't the best of signs, either.

"You'll never guess what happened."

Pinching his brow, Arthur inwardly sighed at his servant's great enthusiasm. While he usually didn't really mind his friend's upbeat happiness, today was not the day for it. He had had yet another row with his father, about _duty_ and _honor_, and doing what is right. "Do I _want_ to know?"

Merlin ignored his grumpiness and embarked on his story about meeting a stranger in the courtyard.

"Merlin, as _endearing_ as your tales of social adventure are, now's not the time." Arthur turned away from him, hanging his jacket around the pole of his privacy screen with such a deliberate intent that it stayed put immediately – before crashing to the floor several seconds later. He cursed.

The young servant whistled through his teeth. "Someone's in a mood."

"Facing my father will do that to you."

"Again?" he questioned, confusion evident in his eyes. "What now?"

Arthur shrugged, feeling his anger ebb away by the second. Though he would never dare to say it out loud, he was grateful for Merlin. Thankful, for somehow his friend could disarm him – even though at other times, his anger was only fuelled by the man's pure _idiocy_.

"The usual."

"You know what that man needs?" Merlin started in a fit of rage, determined to make his point, as so very often happened when he started a tantrum. His hand was outstreched, cutting the air, his index finger menacingly pointed to the window in the left corner. Arthur supposed the poor glass construction was a stand-in for his father, and he felt sympathy well up inside of him. Poor window, on the receiving end of Merlin's rage.."He needs someone to tell him every single detail about the truths that he doesn't want to hear."

This time, Arthur _did_ smile, for it was too difficult not to. "And I suppose _you_ are the person for that job?" His eyebrows shot up in mock dare, waiting for Merlin to crawl back on his offer.

"Well," Merlin sighed dramatically, "If I wasn't so busy cleaning up after _you_ the entire time, I would, yeah. Honestly, Arthur, you're too untidy for me to do anything else, it's a disaster." A small twinkle appeared in his eyes, making the light dance inside his clear blue orbs.

"By all means, Merlin, go ahead – I'm sure I could spare your poor soul for an hour or two." The statement rendered Merlin speechless, and Arthur could see the wheels turning in his head as he came up with a suitable reply.

He snickered. _Well, aaall right. _He'd tortured Merlin enough for one hour. Arthur sighed resignedly, preparing himself for the beaming smile that was about to take its place around Merlin's lips when he gave in. "All right," he mumbled, "tell me what happened."

-

When the mysterious stranger appeared with his bathwater, Arthur immediately understood what Merlin had meant. There _was_ something horribly familiar about this man, though Arthur was sure they had never met before. He accepted the handshake and the polite introductions made by Merlin, but his instincts warned him about the older man's charm and easygoing conduct. And they had (nearly) never been wrong before.

He found the question in his friend's eyes, and he granted Merlin a short, almost impossible to notice nod, telling him without words that the same feeling of familiarity had come over him, as well. Turning back towards their guest, he felt everything inside of him still when their eyes connected.

Looking from Garreth to Merlin and back again, things suddenly became clear, and the words he was about to speak remained stuck inside of his throat. _Dear Lord. How could he have missed this?_

-

The water rose up to his collarbone, and he let his chin fall to break the smooth, transparent surface. His mind felt as if it were somehow going a million miles an hour, yet doing this while standing completely still. There was a truth hidden in there, one he wasn't sure if he wanted to be true, and he was searching for a million other explanations around it.

If Garreth was who Arthur thought him to be, then the alarmbells in his brain would not bode to good things – he wanted the man who played this particular role in life's theatre to be honest and true. Not a man who had a warning written all over his very being.

Sighing heavily, the young prince slid down,  
going under.

Gaius

His head snapped up immediately when his door was being swung open, a movement he regretted when feeling the little bones in his neck crack with the sudden action. Touching his fingers to the sore place, he started to gently rub his vertebra. "Arthur," he spoke upon identifying the intruder, "would you mind giving me some sort of _warning_ before you burst in?"

Arthur's mouth twitched in an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry," he replied. "I'll think about that next time."

"Merlin's not here."

"I know." The answer confused Gaius. Never once had Arthur actually come up here for something other than finding Merlin when he was being lazy and not able to get out of bed, or searching the quarters, looking for a sorcerer. More than that, the young prince seemed unnerved by something, and didn't appear to be in any physical pain. "I told him to muck out my tables."

He grinned at Gaius, who feebly smiled back. If there was anything Merlin hated to do, it was precisely that. Mucking out Arthur's stables took hours, and the dirt on his clothes and body was always unparalleled."It's you I wanted to talk to."

Gaius turned the switch on his various experiments and gently sat down on the wooden bench, looking up at the prince expectantly. "What is it, sire?"

"Well," Arthur walked over to where the physician was sitting, not enough at ease to actually sit down, so he lifted his right foot onto the wooden construction and rested his elbow on his knee, his lean fingers curled around his chin. "There's a stranger in town," he started as his fingers fell away and clawed at the air. "and his name's Garreth.."

Gaius tensed, a terrible ice cold poison spreading through his veins. Of all the people ever to enter this town, he had wished this person never to set foot on the stones of the place he called his home. Never to enter this wonderful bubble of protection for Merlin with a large, sharp needle in his hands.

Arthur noticed the sudden change in his mood and found in that composure all the answers he had sought. "So I'm right? He's Merlin's father?"

"Yes." Gaius drew in a large, shaking breath, his worn body heavy with anxiety.

"Right." Arthur nodded, his irrational fear rearing its head again. "So, why is he _suddenly_ back?"

The old man's voice was soft, a mere whisper.. "I don't know." He said, his heart constricting as its beat picked up.

* * *

_So? Please please please tell me what you think? Please review? It means the world to me!_

_Xo, as always_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N : Hi guys, so I'm back from my trip to Ireland. It was absolutely gorgeous, and I had a lot of time to think about this story when going on long hikes. So here's the next chapter! I'd like to thank anyone who has reviewed and/or favorited/alerted this story, it really means the world to me! But reviews are extra nice because I actually get to 'see' what you think, so please tell me what you think about this chapter? Pretty please?**

**XO, as always**

* * *

Merlin

Merlin cupped the water in his hand, mourning the loss of a small stream that drizzled from between his fingers. He splashed it on his face, rubbed it over his neck – anything to cleanse his body of the dark soot that colored the entire surface that had been exposed to the filth of Arthur's stables. If there would ever come a day when the prince would clean up _that_ particular mess, Merlin was sure he would crumble to the ground as the world came to its end.

His mouth was opened in a slight O shape, allowing the water to slip into his dry throat, and he swallowed like a mad man to get rid of the roughness far back in the hollow. His eyes closed in satisfaction as he drank the liquid wonder.

It was then that he heard the footsteps shuffling up the steps to their small home, and he let a smile slip out when he identified Gaius' tread. Slow. Old and worn. But then another rhythm followed the first one, not far behind, and the clear frenzy was powerful, almost demanding. "Gaius!"

Merlin froze. The voice was that of Garreth, and panic bordered the calling of the physician's name. The young boy couldn't understand the reason behind that high pitched syllable at the end of the exclamation, but he was sure to find out when Gaius opened the front door only slightly, leaving open a small crack. Merlin felt like a deer in the crosshairs of a bow, too petrified and intrigued to even move a single inch. The droplets of water continued to run down his face while he held his breath to listen.

"Is it true, then?" Garreth continued, slightly out of breath. "About Merlin – he's the same one?"

"Of course he is." Gaius explained. "I really don't know why you'd expected anything else."

"I didn't expect anything else." He defended himself, but his voice fell away to a soft, silent note when he said : "I just didn't _expect_ _him_. I just didn't know he would be..."

"Of course you didn't." The older man amended, but there was something in his voice that Merlin had become so atuned to that he knew by heart. Gaius didn't believe a single word the stranger spoke. It was strange, though, that they spoke with such familiarity, for it meant that Gaius in fact _knew_ Garreth from before. And something he had done had made Gaius turn away. "Well," he took a breath. "What are you going to do, now?"

Only silence answered the question, that had been posed with such a superiority, such wisdom and expectation, that those seven short spoken words held the world by a thread. Gaius sighed. "He's still your son, Garreth, whether you want to admit it or not. You needed to figure yourself out, before. I hope you have now. In any case, you should know that we were quite happy before you came along, and we will be long after you've left Camelot."

The door fell closed with a heavy click, and Gaius stared at it for a short minute, his shoulders falling in defeat. Turning around, he saw the wide eyed prey, ready to be taken down, but not before holding its head proudly, for the last time.

"That's some secret you've been keeping from me."

Gaius

"Merlin.." Gaius set down his equipment on the laboratory table, determined to look anywhere but at his young protégé, see anything but the look in the boy's eyes. "How much did you hear?"

"Oh, I don't know," he walked closer, trying to provoce some kind of reaction from him, and came to a short foot's length, leaning his palm flat onto the table top and holding his face but a breath away. It was hard to keep from panicking, but that would be the last thing Merlin needed right now, and so the physician kept his calm. _Breathe in and breathe out._ "enough to understand that _that man_ is my father, and that you've been keeping the fact that he's here from me." His mouth curled into a tense frown. "You didn't seem at all surprised to hear him calling for you."

"I'd recognize that voice anywhere." Gaius shook his head, not wanting to let on that the crown prince himself had seen what Merlin had not – could not – and that he, too, was wary of the 'stranger man' that had suddenly appeared in their lives, again. "It was the same voice that I heard eighteen years ago, when he left the village of Ealdor behind. I had no idea he was in town, or I surely would have told you."

Raising his head to stare Merlin blandly in the face, his eyes betrayed all the honesty in the statement. He really _hadn't _seen Merlin since after Arthur came to him, so there had been no opportunity to tell him. But in truth, if there _had_ been, he wasn't sure if he would have taken the chance to tell the young warlock. He wasn't sure if he would have been able to find the words.

Merlin searched for the emotion that lay so apparent on the surface, then nodded in acceptance. "All right," he said. "I believe you."

-

Merlin

"That man you saw earlier… Garreth…He's my father." It was the first time he had spoken the words, and they felt odd to him. Foreign to his tongue and his mind – as if the mere possibility of _having _a father had disappeared the moment his own had walked out on him and his mother.

Arthur drew his blade from the shaft and inspected it in the soft morning light. The sun streamed through the painted glass windows, casting figures of chrystal air against the grey walls of the armory. The light danced upon the decorative shields, the wall tapestries and the the armour nailed to the wall. The silver shone.

"I know." Arthur told him, and for a moment his heart stopped its anxious beat. The prince's voice resembled that of Gaius, almost as if he _conceded_ to the very fact that Garreth was here.

"You know?" His voice raised itself to a high octave, the disbelief mounting to a height it never had before. Had he been the only one not to know of the stranger's true identity?

Arthur rolled his eyes. "_Stop_ the paranoia, Merlin – I only just found out for sure."

"It's the eyes.." Arthur continued, seemingly disinterested in his exposé, only concentrated on the whirring of the iron through the damp air. "Your eyes are practically the same."

_I'm sure his don't flash gold._ The thought entered Merlin's brain at the speed of sound, and a stab of pain and fear, but most of all scorching anger plunged into his heart. _Did his father know about his magic?__Had it been the reason he had left?_

He shook his head angrily. If it had been the reason for his leaving, he was all the more despicable for it. What his father had done was inexcusable. "Right. Shouldn't you ask me how I feel about this?"

Arthur's blade stopped mid-air, and he turned to his friend with a teasing smile on his face. "I don't know.." he spoke the words melodiously, turning the question back around. "Should I?" He arched his eyebrow, letting his smile slip to the left, knowing it would annoy Merlin beyond compare.

"Forget it." His companion grunted. "We need to fix your footwork, anyway."

"There's nothing _wrong_ with my footwork, you goon." He pushed lightly against the back Merlin's shoulder as he lead the way out, and grinned. "You just wait and see."

-

They ran into each other later that evening, on the path leading down the village. It had been unavoidable, really, but still the moment took him by surprise. Gwen was walking by his side, chatting on about something brilliantly interesting, but his mind couldn't keep up with her enthousiasm. He hadn't told her yet about his father, and he kind of cherished the fact that she was still ignorant of that entire tangle. It all changed when Garreth and he set eyes on eachother again, and in their gazes they saw the knowledge of their connection, and the fear it envoked. Anger flared in Merlin's blue orbs, like a liquid fire had been set to flame by the mere image of _that_ man.

"Merlin."

"Garreth." He answered, cold and collected. "We need to talk."

* * *

_Pleaaaase tell me what you think? Pleaaase? It means the absolute world to me!_

_Xo, as always_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N : Hey everyone! First of all, I'm sooo sorry it took me this long to update, but I've been on holiday (again! This time in Austria) and had been coping with a bit of a dry-up of inspiration. That being said, I really hope you'll like this chapter! Maybe you'd better read the previous one again, because I've changed some subtle things that some of you may not have read (I made Merlin a bit more angry, because I realized thanks to someone that he was a bit too _nice_ when it came to the issue.).**

**Anyway, pleaaaase tell me what you think? Please let me know? I'll give you a zillion cookies!**

**XO, as always  
Mae'side**

* * *

Merlin

His father looked at him apprehensively, noticing how his now grown son made no effort to keep the anger from his eyes. It was strange how those blue orbs that had been clear as heavens earlier today, could now hold such hatred. So Merlin had figured it out, as well. Garreth wondered who had been the one to break it to the young boy, and how the news had been delivered. The shock had come as terrible to him, and he couldn't imagine how it had been for young Merlin, who had no memory of his father but the vision of him walking away.

"I want you to leave Camelot. Tonight."

Merlin felt proud of the power his voice held, of the superiority that shone through. Arthur would share the sentiment, though deny it immediately. _"Well, you couldn't very well go off crying at his feet, could you now, Merlin?" _"This is my home, now, and you have got no business here."

"Actually," Garreth took a step forward, a slow grin tugging at his lips, and Merlin inwardly shook his head at the appearance of it. The man standing in front of him didn't deserve a grin in Camelot, for this was _his_ home, these were _his_ friends, and he'd protect them, and his own soul, for all he was worth. "I've got a job here at the palace, now. I'm working the kitchen tonight." He swung his arms back and forth, smacking his hands together when they neared eachother. The rocking movement was so arrogant, so conceited, that it made the loathing only grow.

"All right. Then leave tomorrow." He countered the argument. It wasn't that big to overcome, really.

Garreth's grin disappeared and he continued his path towards Merlin, until he was close enough to touch. Fortunately, he had the sense not to. His voice turned soft and apologetic, and he sighed softly. "Merlin, I know that things in the past may have been… I know I've done you wrong… " Garreth closed his eyes briefly, his brow furrowing with an emotion Merlin couldn't define. "..but I was hoping you'd give me a second chance."

When Merlin shook his head, but kept silent, his father took the opportunity to continue. "You liked the man you met in the yard earlier. Just…give me a chance to be him."

The young boy shrugged, feigning disinterest. "Don't see why I should."

"Because," his father hesitated, glancing at Gwen, then giving Merlin a meaningful look that was filled with underlying messages. "Because I know you want people to see you for who you _really_ are, as well."

He took a shivering breath. So his father did know, after all, and him being here only added to the risk of his secret being discovered. Yet he shook it off, for he knew he had to. Hanging around with _Prince Prattishness_ had taught him that much. "You have no idea who I really am."

Turning to Gwen, he gave her a soft smile. "Come on, Gwen. We're done here."

-

Arthur

"MERLIN?!" Arthur cursed for what seemed the hundredth time that day when his man servant was nowhere to be found. Again. _Naturally_.

Gwen passed him in the hallway, giving him a quick, hesitant smile. "If you're trying to find Merlin, I can help."

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Guinevere, the fact that I've been shouting his name throughout the _entire_ castle might be indicating that _yes, I AM _looking for my lazy, no good servant. Any help would be welcome."

She just smiled at him, for some reason unaffected by his bad temper. Dear Gwen, always _all heart_. Yet her smile disappeared as suddenly as it had come when she continued to explain where his servant had gone. And whatever it was, Arthur _knew_ it wasn't going to be good. "I saw him taking it out on a poor lump of wood on my way over here. I think he's upset, sire." She paused, not knowing if she should be telling him about all of it, sharing the emotions that were currently coursing through Merlin's scrawny body. "…about seeing his father."

"Right." Arthur drew his fingers over his forehead, gently rubbing at the tender skin. "Have they spoken yet, now that the secret's out?"

Gwen nodded. "Merlin was brilliant. I think you'd have been proud." The ammount of stars appearing in her eyes told him exactly _how _excellent Merlin had handled the situation, and Arthur had to smile.

"Are you _really_ telling me Merlin was mean?"

The maiden laughed, a rich sound that filled the hallway. "Oh, the meanest. Poor Garreth didn't stand a chance." She fell silent, a frown furrowing her brow. "Well, obviously not _poor_ Garreth since he left Merlin in the first place."

Arthur's mouth slid to the right side of his face, easily melding into his cheek. "And Merlin is doing _what_ exactly?"

She looked helpless. "You'd better see for yourself."

-

"MERLIN, _what _are you doing?" The prince neared his servant, looking on curiously as the axe flew upwards before descending back into the wood with one harsh thump. The chunks were scattered in the vicinity, and the tension was rolling off of the other man's back. Something had to be done about this situation, and it had to be done now. Arthur walked around the massacrated tree and smirked. "You know, if I wanted a canoe, I would have asked for one."

Merlin shook his head violently, the sweat making his skin glow. For all the time they'd spent together, Arthur had never once seen Merlin so unhinged. And that was something to be said, for all the times Merlin had been upset had been too many in number to count.

He sighed dramatically, before lowering his voice and trying another tactic, hoping this one would be effective. "Merlin." He sternly said. "I want you to stop. That's an order, you _brat._"

For a moment all was silent, and Merlin's eyes skipped upwards to connect with his. The anger, the sadness and the pain… it was all there. He could see the emotions battling for dominance, and then he saw the sadness fall, and pain give way. The axe struck again.

"Enough of this." Arthur muttered quietly, knowing Merlin wouldn't hear it anyway. The loud screeching sound of anger inside his mind must be overwhelming. Knowing it was dangerous, but not caring either way, Arthur came to stand beside Merlin and intercepted the axe when it passed him. Merlin's confused eyes gazed right through him.

"Merlin." Arthur's voice was soft now, considerate, but it still held enough authority to make his servant listen. "You need to stop this."

All of a sudden the hand that gripped the axe went limp and fell to his side, and Arthur took the opportunity to lay down the tool, as well.

"He 'was hoping' I'd give him a second chance."

Merlin

"Gwen told me you've fought him hard." Arthur's voice held a little appreciation, and Merlin was glad. Yes, he had. Arthur _should_ feel proud. "Like you should have. I mean, what else could you do?"

Ah. There it was.

"So are you going to?" Confusion suddenly took over. _Going to..what, Arthur?_ "Give him a second chance?" Arthur's chin bounded softly against his chest, his eyes large in question. Well, he hadn't thought about it, really. His anger had been too great at first to already start thinking about momentary forgiveness.

"I don't know," he said, looking down at the soft ground beneath his feet, littered with wood, and marveled at his own strength.. "Honestly, I don't know. I'd like to think that if I screwed up, people would give me a second chance, so I think I might be a hypocrite if I don't think about it."

Arthur grinned. "Well, you're _certainly _right about the first thing, Merlin. You know, I'm a _saint_, when you think about it… How many times _have _you screwed up this week?" He sighed playfully. "And yet, for some reason that keeps escaping me, I keep on paying you for it. If I weren't the" he cleared his throat dramatically, "crown prince already, they'd probably have me knighted just for putting up with you."

Merlin rolled his eyes. "I don't know why I even _try_ having these conversations with you, Arthur. Honestly, the lump of wood made for much better companionship then you do, right now."

"You're such a joker, Merlin!" He sarcastically threw out while slapping Merlin on the back. "Really, you're _too kind_. Now let's go. You've got armour to clean."

* * *

_Ok, pleaaaaaaase tell me what you think? I'd really like to know (if) you haven't forgotten about this story and (if) you still like it!!_

_ZILLION cookies!!_

_XO, as always_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N : Hey guys! So thank you thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, it's really -more than words can say-wonderful that you still care about this story, and still like it. Zillions of cookies are being spread around. Here's the next chapter, and it deals mostly with the people in Merlin's life, how they see the "threat" that Garreth poses. Arthur thinks in terms of _war_, Gwen is concerned and always always all heart, and Gaius worries about losing Merlin. **

**I really hope you like it, please let me know? It means the world to me!**

**XO, as always  
Mae'side.**

* * *

Arthur

He saw the figure advancing on him over the rim of his soup bowl, and braced himself for what was to come. It wouldn't be pretty, no doubt. There'd be confusion, and he'd have to play hard to get what he wanted to happen. Blood would be shed. Inwardly, he took a deep breath, readying himself for the confrontation.

"What is it, Merlin?"

Merlin fiddled with his hands, keeping them in front of his body, like a nervous toddler who'd stolen a cookie from the jar. He cleared his throat nervously before daring to take the leap. "I was wondering if I might be excused from dinner this evening."

A quick glance. A razor sharp decision. "No."

"See," His hands were freed from their position as if they had been waiting for this, and he motioned all around him, swinging his arms to add to his reasoning. "I knew you were going to say that, but tonight is an exception, because Garreth might be serving dinner. I'd very much like not to see that."

Arthur leaned back in his chair, studying his young servant, and a devilish grin played around his lips. "I'm aware of that particular fact, Merlin. The answer's still no."

Merlin's arms flew up in desperation, and he touched his temples. "There's just no point talking to you." He rounded on his master, an incredulous look on his face. "Why do you enjoy torturing me this much?"

The prince sighed. He'd known even before Merlin posed the question, that his answer would be misunderstood. That being said, he _did _enjoy torturing Merlin. To deny that would be lying. But this time, there was more to it then that. "I'm not saying that I do not enjoy winding you up every once in a while," he leaned forward in his chair, closer to Merlin, capturing his attention, "but this isn't about that. I'm actually trying to teach you something, and if you'd just listen to me for once, you might actually see that."

His servant sighed exasperated."I'm doing fine on my own. "

"When it comes to _war_, Merlin, you need some help."

Merlin

War. The word resounded in his head, echoing from the walls, and it was right then that it finally sunk in. Arthur was right, he was really engaged in battle, with no strategy whatsoever. Stupid Merlin. _Stupid, STUPID Merlin._

With a wave of his hand and a pained expression, he motioned for Arthur to continue. Let's have it, then.

"When the enemy arrives at your gates, Merlin, threatens _YOUR _kingdom, you don't just run into your room and hide, waiting for him to go away." Arthur knitted his eyebrows together, showing that even _thinking_ of doing something like it was pure madness. "You face him, head on. Show him you're not going anywhere."

Merlin groaned. "Can't you just run him out of Camelot, instead?"

Arthur shook his head. "According to the law, Garreth has done nothing wrong since his arrival in Camelot. I can't just _kick him out_ of the kingdom for no reason."

"So you're really going to make me do this?"

Arthur stood up and walked around to Merlin. Touching his hand to the boy's shoulder, he spoke again, mischief apparent in his voice. "I'm not making you do anything, Merlin. Apart from the doing the dishes, of course." He frowned, thinking. "Well, that and mucking out my horses, cleaning my armour, sweeping my fireplace,.."

Merlin held up his hand to silence him. "I get it, Arthur."

-

Gwen

"I'd heard your father would be serving the meals tonight," Gwen came to stand next to him, touching his arm for the briefest of moment, before continuing in a whisper, "thought you could use a friend. What are you going to do?"

Merlin turned to her, smiling. "Do you think staring him down might help?"

The maiden chuckled. "It doesn't hurt to try." Her eyes sought out Gaius, who was obliged to be there at every meal, should someone try to poison a member of the royal household. He looked tired and worn, and never kept his eyes away from the newly arrived Garreth. "Gaius looks worried," she added, and Merlin's attention shifted to his foster father. His expression softened.

"I think he's worried about me."

"Of course he is." Gwen laughed. "We _all_ are, even the crown prince himself."

"Reaaally…" Merlin drawled, watching Arthur munching down his food, looking as disinterested in everything that was going on around him as ever. He rolled his eyes. " I wouldn't bet my money on that particular horse."

Gwen sighed at his obliviance."You don't give him enough credit. Remember, Merlin, I've been around Arthur longer than you have, and I see the way he is when he's around you."

"Behaving like a prat?"

She nudged him, hard. "You know that's not true, Merlin. Arthur cares for you, he's just too proud to admit it." Really, she didn't know when the time would come that these to would just face that fact, but it had better be soon, because she couldn't stand it. It hurt her to think about it, really.

"Maybe you should let Gaius know you're still here, with him." She could tell the words didn't quite register when he turned to her, his mouth already opening to question her advice.

"Where else would I be?"

"Come on, Merlin," she lightly scolded. "Surely you've taken the time to think about what this means to him?" He had not. "Gaius think of you as the son he never had, Merlin. And now that your real father has come along… do you see where this is going?"

Merlin

"Yeah." He croaked out silently, a hint of embarrasment and shame in his voice. He should have thought about what this meant to Gaius instead of going off at him for not saying Garreth was in town. But he didn't think Gaius would ever doubt his loyalty..or his love, the kind that passed between foster father and son.

Gaius meant more to him than Garreth ever had. "Will you excuse me, Gwen?"

"Sure." She smiled. "Say hi to him for me."

Merlin came to a stop next to the older man's restive body, that was tense in a way Merlin had rarely seen before. "Slow night, isn't it? No one is being poisoned, no magic tricks. Really, before I came here, I thought life at Camelot was much more exciting than this."

Gaius turned to him, smiling. "There can't always be dragons and sorcerers around, Merlin. Life would be all too easy. However, never forget that secrets can be found at any table."

"Secrets.." Merlin whispered to him, making it sound hush hush as if they were conspiring as well. "Well, that's certainly intriguing. It's enough to make me stick around for… I don't know… forty years or so. Maybe more. Depends on how juicy they are."

Arthur glanced at him from across the table, and Merlin chuckled before adding. "And how much of a prat my master remains."

Gaius laughed quietly. "I think your master's moving in the right direction. Maybe you're a good influence."

"Why does everyone think that?" Merlin questioned. The truth was that if Arthur really had changed, the chance it had something to do with him were probably minimal. He was reminded of the first day he had met Arthur, and how their relationship had slowly changed for the better. But _could his presence in Camelot really have changed Arthur? _Truly?

"You may not wish to see it, Merlin, but everyone knows how you care for each other."

"Right." Merlin said. "Until he discovers who I really am."

Gaius shook his head sadly. "Merlin. When the time is right…"

"Garreth knows." He blurted out, needing to know how to handle that particular fact. It all added to the danger Merlin faced in Camelot, and that wasn't good.

"Oh." Gaius fell silent and glanced over at Garreth, who stood behind the table, observing them like a hawk. "Well, that's just what we needed."

-

There was a letter on his bed when he returned from dinner that night, and it puzzled him. No one apart from Gaius and the occasionally Arthur ever came in here – they respected him too much to invade his privacy like that, and he knew it wasn't Arthur's handwriting.

His fingers trembled as he picked up the envelope and turned it around in his hands, taking in every detail before opening it. His eyes skid over the sloppily written words until coming to a halt at the signature. _Garreth_, it said.

The enemy had requested a truce.

* * *

_Pleaaaase tell me what you think? It would mean the world to me AND you'd get another batch of a zillion cookies - and they're yummy! Really, though, it means the world to me._

_XO, as always_


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N : Wow, you guys! Everyone has been so amazing about the last chapter, and you all deserve a zillion cookies! (starts spreading billions of cookies around) I know I'm back really soon, but I hope you like that particular fact! (grin)**

**Now, pretty pleaaase, you REALLY have to tell me what you think about this chapter, because it's an important one, I think! And I really hope you'll like it. Pleaaase let me know? It means the world to me, and maybe this time I'll bake you a pie!**

**XO, as always**

* * *

Arthur

This time, he didn't even think of leading Merlin on and providing him with short, decisive answers. There was something so lost about his servant when he entered his chambers, the piece of paper clutched in his hand, and Arthur could tell that it was hard for him not to let out the sigh he'd been holding inside his chest.

"I don't know what to do with this." Merlin threw the paper down onto the table, observing Arthur's every movement as he slowly picked it up. "It's a dinner invitation. He'd like to explain."

Arthur nodded, biting the inside of his cheek. He might have turned this whole _thing_ into a warlike reality, but the truth was that there was more at stake than a kingdom. It wasn't richess, it was trust. Emotions. This wasn't something you could solve rationally. And he certainly couldn't solve this on his own. "What do you want to do, Merlin?"

The sigh finally slipped through the small crack between the young boy's lips. "I was hoping you could tell me."

"Well, Merlin…" Arthur raised himself, pushing his hands hard against the arms of his seat when he did, and he walked over to the window, staring out at the courtyard before turning back to his servant. Merlin needed his help right now, and he hoped it would be enough. "I may not be the best person to see about this."

When he saw panic spread on his friend's face, he immediately continued, setting him at ease. "We're not a war, Merlin, even though it might seem like it. This really is about you and what _you_ want out of this. I fear," he added lightly, hoping to lift some of the somber clouds that weighed on both their shoulders, "that we are actually going to have to work together on this."

Merlin rolled his eyes. "Oh, the horror."

"Mmyes." He walked over to Merlin, pressing the palm of his hand to his shoulder in a small, comforting pat. "You'll survive. Let's think about this."

-

Merlin

He didn't think he'd ever been this nervous. But he was _sure_ he'd never felt this conflicted in his life. He remembered what Arthur had told him about always appearing brave in front of your enemy, and took a breath, hoping it would clear his mind. Wipe the insecurity from his face.

Tilting his head upwards, he glanced in the direction of the castle, faintly wondering if Arthur would be standing by the window, looking down at him. Looking _out_ for him. He shook his head with a smile. Arthur wouldn't be caught dead spying on him.

He raised his hand to knock, but even before he could the door swung open, and _he_ was there. Garreth, looking as confident as ever, stared back at him from two very familiar eyes. Arthur was right. He couldn't believe he hadn't noticed before.

"I'm glad you came, Merlin. Please…" He waved to come in, and Merlin hesitantly stepped inside. The place was cosy enough, he noticed, considering the fact that Garreth hadn't been living here for a long time. A sharp ache shot through his chest. Garreth hadn't been living with them for a long time, either.

"I made you dinner," he offered, his voice smooth and controlled – and Merlin wondered if his own would sound as poised when he finally spoke. _Remember what Arthur said_, he reminded himself, _look the part, and he'll eat it right up._ Right, Arthur. Remember how bad I was at lying? Acting won't do me any good, either.

"Thank you," he said, politely, preparing his victim for the sting. "But Gaius and I have already eaten."

"Ah," Garreth's eyesbrows shot up, as if he were surprised, and he lifted the jug of wine to pour them both a glass. "Gaius is a good man. I remember back in the day, when your mother and I were in trouble.."

"He's always there for me. Took me in without even hesitating for a second. He's like a father to me." He'd hoped the comment would have hurt him. He'd hoped it would have hurt so much that the breath was momentarily knocked out of his opponent, but it didn't. Garreth only smiled a little.

"I understand you're trying to hurt me, Merlin. I even understand why you're doing it. But I'd like to think that you'd have enough manners not to insult your host before his tale had been properly told."

_Great. Just great. _"Don't you try and make me feel like the bad guy. I don't deserve that."

"You're right." Garreth broke a piece of bread, his rough hands tearing apart the soft tissue. "But you do deserve the truth about why I left."

It hit him like a tidal wave. Like electrocution. The mere idea that he had been told a lie for his entire life was unphantomable, and so he reasoned he wouldn't – couldn't – believe it. Even before he heard this so called truth, he would dismiss it with one switch of the mind. One connection in the brain. He recalled an image of Arthur and copied it, the arrogance showing on his face.

"Let's have it, then."

-

Arthur

"You seem distracted." Morgana didn't look at him when she said it, but focused on her plate instead, trying not to attract Uther's attention to them. "Haven't heard a word from you all evening. You didn't even brag about killing that bear this morning."

"Hm." He hummed his reply. "I'm sorry, Morgana. I know I'm not my usual charming self tonight." He grinned at her, and she rolled her eyes.

"I was wondering what was taking so long. I was worried you might have injured yourself." She smiled before giving him a slight nudge. "Let's have it, then. What's on your mind? And _don't_ try to deny it, because I'll have you know I can see right through you." Morgana turned to him, a knowing look on her face. He wondered if she would ever _know_ how much it annoyed him when she did that.

"It's nothing – " he brushed it off by taking a sip of his wine. "Just wondering if Merlin's still standing."

She nodded, intrigued. " So does that mean he's…going to see his father?"

"Yup." He turned to her, frowning. "Hang on, how did you know his father was even in Camelot?"

"Gwen." She simply said, but a devilish grin soon followed the answer. "Why, don't you and Merlin tell each other everything?"

"Oh, yes," he sarcastically supplied. "We braid each others hair, too."

Merlin

"I just wasn't ready for you, Merlin." An expression of panic came over him, almost as if he were reliving that very moment, feeling the walls closing in on him. "I just – I was too young, too inexperienced, and if I had stayed, I would have made a terrible father to you." He reached out to briefly touch the back of Merlin's hand, but his son snatched it away before skin touched skin and folded them neatly into his lap. "At least, that's what you mother thought. When she told me what she thought of me, I just… I couldn't help agreeing with her."

He sighed, and the tears formed behind his eyes. "You were everything to her from the day you were born. She couldn't risk the possibility of you growing up with a father who was still a child! When she asked me to leave, asked me to _grow_ before ever coming back to claim you, I did."

Merlin was taken aback when the blue orbs connected with his, the intensity so fierce that it almost scolded his skin. "I want you to know that I've been trying ever since." His fist slammed down on the table, and it shook with the force of the action. "I didn't know I'd find you here, Merlin, but I'm glad I did. Because I think I'm ready, now."

Merlin shook his head, trying to make sense of it all. There HAD to be some sense to all of this, and it came to him – Garreth had never once tried to deny that he had left them, he's just said that it hadn't been his idea.

"Let me see if I get this." He began, speaking ever so slowly. It seemed as if his ability to function had been put on pause ever since he walked through that door, and he'd been operating on autopilot. _Doing what Arthur had told him to do. Stinging the victim just the right way._ The instructions were through now, and he'd have to do this on his own. "You're not denying the fact that you left me."

Garreth shook his head. "I'm not."

"But you say it was my _mother_ who asked you to." He didn't like this, didn't like the idea one bit, but every single thought had been scrambled, and he just couldn't do anything by the book anymore. He'd think this through in the morning, think it through when he had found his sanity again, when he'd spoken to Arthur. "You can't just expect me to nod and smile saying it's okay, saying I believe you."

"I know, Merlin." Garreth lay his hand on his arm, and Merlin felt paralyzed and ashamed when he couldn't turn away. "I'm not asking you to. I just wanted you to know the truth."

"So this is _your_ truth."

Garreth sighed. "You're putting it the wrong way. It's not _my_ truth, it my _version_ of the truth. It's reality, seen through my eyes."

"I'm going home now." Merlin nodded for no reason in particular, his head lolling as if only held up by a small, breakable thread. "Thank you," he murmured. "But it's time to go."

-

He lay on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. It had been hours since he'd left Garreth's, and he still had no clue what to think about everything that had happened. He turned to his side, only to bolt upright when he heard a movement near the door. It couldn't be Gaius, for a soft snoring sound could be heard from the other room – and so his senses became acute and every fiber in his being tensed, waiting for the stranger to appear.

The soft creaking sound of an opening door was followed by a pair of heavy footsteps, and the faint light that entered the room through the window framed the silhouette that stood in front of his bed.

"Any chance you're going to tell me what happened?" Arthur's voice filled the room, the question in his voice really sounding the part, unlike other times when it was just an order in disguise. Arthur really gave him a choice, this time.

Merlin sagged back into his mattress and pressed his fists to his closed eyelids, though he knew it wouldn't change anything. No clarity, no answers. "We need to figure this out, Arthur. Because I honestly don't know what happened, myself."

The dark figure nodded. "We can talk about it in the morning." He walked over to the door and went through it, only to be stopped by Merlin's small voice.

"Arthur… thanks for doing this."

He couldn't see if he got a smile in return. Couldn't even determine whether the prince actually welcomed the words or if it only added to annoyance. Nothing was clear tonight, and he hoped the morning would bring him something entirely different. Something pure.

"Get some rest, Merlin. You did good, tonight."

* * *

_Ok, pleaaaase pleaaaase let me know? It means... so much! the world! the entire universe!... to me. Pies are available. (grin)_


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N : Hey you guys, I'm back with another chapter. I just want to thank you all so much for the amazing support - you deserve all the cookies, pies or pastries I hurl at you! (smiles) I'm sorry for not updating yesterday, but I kind of had a lot going on.. That being said, I'm feeling inspired today, so I might continue writing on tomorrow's chapter!**

**Pleaaase let me know what you think? It means the world to me! Cookies again, because y'all seem to like 'em!**

**XO, as always**

Merlin

"Did you believe him?" He threw it out as casually as he possibly could, but Arthur's eyes were wide in honest knew at that very moment that he had been right all along : Arthur did care, though he may not want to admit it. He could just imagine the prince's response when someone asked him if he did. "Don't be ridiculous," he'd say, and – depending who was asking the question – they would either choose to believe him, or they would not.

Believing in a truth that could be concealed, that HAD been concealed for an entire lifetime, wasn't the easiest thing to do. Especially when it went against everything you had ever known to be true. "Do you?" he questioned, and was met with a small shake of the head, a barely recognizable sigh.

"I don't know who he is, Merlin, or even who he imagines himself to be… But there's something there that… I don't trust him. He claims Hunith lied to you about all this?"

Merlin closed his eyes briefly, recalling his mother's face, her kind eyes and caring spirit. "I can't imagine her doing that to me."

"Well, neither can I." He paused. "I'm sure she was very protective of you when you were young, Merlin – she still _is_, even today , but I really don't think she'd keep your father away from you." He glanced at Merlin, momentarily raising his gaze from his stacked plate, and when their eyes connected, an understanding passed between them.

Arthur sipped his cup. "I can send for her." He offered.

Merlin shook his head. "And have her in the same place as Garreth? That would be a really bad idea, on every possible level." He paused for a moment and looked at Arthur to gauge his reaction. He'd just come out and called the prince on one of his truly stupid plans, and it would all depend on the mood Arthur was in – he could be coming down on his servant, hard and fast, of he could choose to ignore the remark and let him off with a slight raise of the eyebrow. "..my lord." Merlin cast his eyes to the floor, and when he raised them again he saw slight amusement playing around the prince's lips.

He sagged into his chair, enjoying his servant's skittishness. "Alright, Merlin. What's _your _brilliant idea, then?"

"I'd like to visit her, if that would be alright with you."

Arthur's brow furrowed, concern written all over his face. "How long would you be gone for?" Merlin groaned inwardly. Concern for himself, then. His royal behind would have to be waited on by some other servant.

"Three days. Maybe more." Arthur's eyes travelled across the room before he grinned, and cheerfully announced that he was going with. Merlin's eyes nearly bounced out of their sockets when he did. "Really?" His beaming smile lit up the entire room, before the suspicion set in. He tilted his head slightly, squeezing his eyes to tight slits. "Why?"

"Because, Merlin, my father wants me to have me travel to the Northern boundaries with the guard and pay the local towns a visit. It's a smile-and-wave-occasion." He looked victorious. "Traveling with you would be a great excuse not to go – and besides, I have a duty to protect you. I wouldn't want you fall over yourself and become completely useless to me."

Gaius

He supposed it was foolish of him to feel this threatened by the new arrival to the lower town, but his foster son had always been a tender point to him, a small chink in his armour. Maybe Merlin could fix it, himself. Or maybe he would turn away…tell him it was a lost cause. The armour would never shine as it once had, and it was silly to think that it would.

His eyes travelled to the raised platform, to the door that led to Merlin's chamber. Imagining it empty broke his heart, a little, and he didn't want to think about that, any longer. He needed to act to make sure Garreth knew that he was here to stay. And so was Merlin.

-

The palace's kitchen was a place he had frequented often when he'd been slightly _younger_, and he still knew his way around, occassionaly visiting when the time was right. Mostly, Merlin and he got along just fine, but at special occasions he liked to give his foster son something better than just … baked beans and meat loaf. "You deserved this," he'd tell Merlin, and he meant it with all his heart. No one knew how difficult it must be for the young sorcerer but he, and even Gaius underappreciated it at times.

When he found Garreth, the first thing he thought of was how often he had seen the back of him. More often than not, Garreth had 'only just left' when Gaius visited Hunith, and he remained in the dim lit room with the kind woman, and the small boy who stared at him wide-eyed. Pure innocence, Merlin had been. Sometimes Gaius wanted to believe he still was, now.

"Gaius." Garreth's voice didn't sound surprised, but there _was_ a sentiment hidden in that timber. Something in there that just spoke of betrayal, and it made him want to crawl into a hole, bury Garreth deep inside and run away, never telling anyone of the secret hiding place where he had stowed away his one great rival. He nearly laughed at himself. A _rival_, fighting over Merlin's love. It seemed childish. "I was wondering when you were going to turn up here."

Gaius frowned. "Funnily enough, I was wondering why you are here in the first place."

"In the palace kitchen?"

"You're still as amusing as you were when you were younger. In Camelot." Gaius stared at the scrawny figure, looking at the light stubble on the now mature cheek, the twinkle in his eyes and the long arms and legs that looked strong enough to embrace a small tree trunk. "You're not taking Merlin away from here, if that's what your after. He belongs here."

"Gaius." Garreth advanced on him like a predator coming at his prey, the sharp teeth glinstening in the shrill daylight. His hand came down on the older man's shoulder, the steady pressure holding him down. "I know Merlin is the son _you've NEVER _had, but he IS mine." He smiled wickedly. "And if he decides to trust me, I promise you that I won't let you stand in our way."

Old fingers reached for the younger ones, prying them loose one by one, and holding them in a tight grip. Dear lord, he tried to muster up the force to come off as threatening, but he couldn't. He was becoming too old for this. "What are you really after, Garreth?"

Garreth laughed. "Whatever gave you that idea, physician?"

"You may have forgotten, but I know who you really are. I'll expose you before you get whatever it is you want from us."

"You do that." He laughed. "You do that, Gaius, and see who he trusts. The remorseful father seeking forgiveness or the jealous old man trying to keep him down?"

Gaius peered at him through his heavy eyelids, feeling the vein throb near to his temples. "Don't you try to play _games_ with us, Garreth. I fear you'll be the one who takes the tumble down."

-

Merlin

Before they rode out, Merlin looked behind him - - twice! - - to check if Arthur was actually going to go through with this. He'd learnt the smile-and-wave occasion was pure fiction, secretly having asked Uther if he had anything planned for his son the next few days, which meant that Arthur was actually doing this for him, instead of for his own benefit.

Letting on he knew was the worst option. "Merlin, you do know that we're set to leave _today_?" Arthur shook him from his musings.

"Er, yeah," he cleared his throat. "'m ready."

-

Later that night, they positioned themselves beside the fire in their usual places..which meant that Arthur's feet rested near his mouth and nose, just like they had the first time they'd left for Ealdor. He groaned. "You're not going to throw your feet in my face again, are you?"

Arthur chuckled. "You mean like this?"

Merlin, having anticipated the Arthur-move, grabbed a hold of the ankle before it could turn away. "Exactly like that."

He cleared his throat menacingly. "Merlin, I _order_ you to let go." He raised himself from the ground so he could glare at his servant. A mean one. "I can have you thrown in the stocks for this, you know."

Merlin only smiled teasingly. "Great." he said, "It's been too long since I've had such fun."

But Arthur wasn't giving up, and he threw in the best threat, knowing it would scare Merlin off forever. "I'll even hand them the potatoes myself."

Merlin's mouth fell open, the shock of such a torturous missile too great to be ignored. "Fine." He released Arthur's foot. "But I just want you to know that you're no fun on field trips."

Arthur squirmed, trying to find the comfortable position he'd found earlier on, and grinned at the stars. "Shut up, Merlin."

_OK - pleaaaaase tell me what you think - it really means everything to me! _

_Xo, as always!_


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N : hey y'all! Alright, I'm sorry it took me this long, but finally - here's chapter 7. I kind of had some trouble writing this chapter, so I'd really really like to know if you like it! Pretty please? It means so much to me!! (And I'd like to thank everyone who has reviewed so far, you are simply amazing)**

**Hugs, cookies, and XO, as always**

Arthur

"Merlin?"

Hunith set down the basket she'd been carrying. Inside, the greyish sheets lay curled up tightly, save for the small piece that fell over the rim, dancing with the wind. He could tell that having her son back in Ealdor worried her more than it brought her joy, and swallowed hard to clear his throat of the suspision that rose within. It was only worry that caused her face to crumple, he convinced himself, not the fear that a long kept secret had been revealed to the world.

She nearly ran over to him, holding his face between her worn hands, her eyes studying every inch of him. "I'm alright, mother." Merlin smiled a little, relaxed for a while – a few precious seconds before the poison set in. Arthur watched as his demeanor changed, he saw the tension return to his friends shoulders, the insecurity bubbling to the surface. "I _just _need to talk to you."

It was only then that Hunith noticed him standing there, and he acknowledged her with a polite nod. "Hunith."

Her eyes grew wide. "Is something wrong with Arthur?" Her voice shook. "Is that why you have come here?"

"Please, mother…" Merlin curled his fingers around her small wrists, pulling them away from his skin, yet holding holding them close at the same time. "I want to ask you something."

Their eyes connected for long minutes that stretched into eternities, and it was more than he could bear. More than he should, really, for this was something Merlin needed to do on his own. This was his own quest.

"I'll be.." Arthur cleared his throat, feeling awkward at interrupting such a tender scene. But he was a hum in the atmosphere here, in this place that had been Merlin's home for such a long time. "I'm going for a walk, Merlin.'

Merlin turned to face him, tearing his eyes away from his mother for the very first time. "Thank you."

He nodded. "I won't be long."

-

Merlin

"You're asking me if I told him to leave?" He could tell she didn't understand where this was coming from, certainly not _now_ after all these years, until it dawned on her and somewhere behind her eyes, a harsh light dimmed, faded away into the deep pools of brown. "He's come for you, hasn't he?"

She sounded scared – petrified really, as if the man she had once loved so dearly was now nothing more than a dark shimmer that followed her, threatening to close in on them and never let go.

Merlin captured her eyes. "He arrived in Camelot a little over a week ago. And I don't know why he came to us…that's why I need you to tell me what happened." He pressed his hands over her own, tightly, reassuringly, "Even if what you did was wrong." He told her of Garreth's story, all the while monitoring her closely, shocked to see so many emotions rip through her body. When he'd finished, she looked at him, older than he'd ever known her to be, and started again with a quivering voice.

"I… I craved for him to be a better man, a better father to you. He was right about that, though I never once told him. I never spoke those words, Merlin." The cloak fell from he shoulder when she moved closer to him, and his free hand hurried to pull it back around her, keeping her warm.

"I always believed that the main reason Garreth walked away was because we had become strangers to each other. With every day that passed, your father and I grew apart, until he decided that he.. couldn't take it anymore." She touched a hand to his forehead, brushing away the thick black hair.

"Neither of us had been ready for a child, Merlin – especially one who was as precious and yet strong as you were. But I fell in love with you the very minute you started to grow inside of me. I could never deny you anything – especially something of this importance."

-

Arthur

He remembered this place from when they'd fought here. He remembered roaming around with Merlin, trying to discover the town's strengths and weaknesses – the ease that had come over his servant, so completely _one_ with everything that went on inside the town.

In his mind's eye, he saw the line of fire tearing through the village, the anxious horse's neigh. He saw the wind pick up, destroying everything in its path…it had been strong enough to make men fall. He saw _William_, the sorcerer who had saved his life.

For a long time after they had returned home, he had wondered if Merlin blamed him for the death of his friend; if somewhere deep down he had placed an invisible mark behind Arthur's name, adding to the reasons for justified anger. He had wondered if he should apologize beyond the heartfealt sorry at the young man's funeral. But Merlin had never mentioned it, and it had been pressed to the back of his own mind.

He pushed the branches apart, continuing his path to where he had once kept watch, where in the silence that came before battle he had tried to convince himself that it would be alright. It was so peaceful here.

-

He returned to the village a little while later and found Merlin sitting still beside his house, his hand curled around a small kitchen knife, scraping at the back of a thin twig. Arthur made no point of disguising his approach, but Merlin didn't care, it seemed. His eyes never darted away from the object he held. Not for a second.

He sank down next to his friend, leaning back against the stone. "Is she alright?"

Merlin's hand slipped at the sudden sound of his voice, the blade falling from the wood and grazing flesh instead. Dropping both objects to the damp ground, Merlin immediately suckled on his bleeding finger, murmuring his reply softly. "She was afraid."

"You?"

The young servant closed his eyes, almost pressing his eyelids closed, needing to shut out reality, shut out everything but the one clear vision of what lay ahead. "I'll be alright."

-

He woke up early the next morning, the hard ground not having brought him much comfort in the night. His eyes shot open, suddenly, and the crisp air around him confused him at first. The sight of the familiar ceiling brought more clarity, and if that hadn't done the trick, the pair of _feet_ laying beside his head would have explained it all.

He raised himself so he was resting on his elbows, and grinned at Merlin's sleeping form. _Of course_, he should have known his servant wouldn't be up yet – lazy git. His mouth was cracked open slightly, and the steady rhythm of the raspy breaths passing between his lips was the only sound that cut through the silence.

This morning calmed his senses, and he inhaled deeply, standing inside the small vegetable garden, the air making his lungs shiver in delight. "Your highness?" Pausing mid – stretch, he turned to Hunith, a guilty smile on his face.

She approached hesitantly, the vegetable case pressed into her side, perfectly balanced against her body. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you."

"It's okay.." he told her. "I'm thankful for the company, while your _son_ is still happily snoring." He had hoped to make her laugh, but the word son had made her cringe slightly – for her son reminded her of his father, now.

"You can't trust him, sire." She shook her head, the scarf that held her hair in place coming undone with the movement. It was filled with fear. "Garreth thinks of no one but his own benefit, and it has hurt me more often than I care to remember."

"I don't." Arthur confessed. "But for Merlin's sake, we needed to be sure." He glanced into the direction of the house, and bit the inside of his lip. " I think he's kind enough to give him another chance."

"You must look out for him," she pleaded, her hand now pressed against his skin, the brown color of earth leaving a faint shimmer behind. "Promise me you will."

He nodded, silently vowing to her that he would do everything to keep Merlin safe. Merlin _would _be alright. He would make sure of that.

_Please tell me what you think? Pleaase? It means the world to me!!_

_Xo, as always_


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N : Hey you guys! Alright, so I'm back with another chapter... and thank you so much for your reviews on the last one, because I wasn't too happy on how that turned out, so it meant all the more to me! Now, this chapter is, as bcargill9 rightly predicted : "the one where things start to go really wrong", so it's a really important chappie, and I really really hope you'll like it!**

**Pleaase let me know? You can have cookies, hugs, kisses, and everything else you want! (though I can't deliver Merlin OR Arthur, sadly enough)**

**XO, as always**

Merlin

"Arthur?" The prince turned around slowly to answer the call, his jacket hanging from his left arm. They had been silent ever since they'd entered the high walls of the castle, each processing his own thoughts – for Merlin could not stop thinking of his mother's words, or the emotion written on her face. "I'd like to go down to the kitchen for a while, if that's okay."

"You're going to confront him?" Merlin nodded, and Arthur looked at him incredously. He raised his eyebrows in a way that Merlin was all too familiar with. It was his master's _Merlin-don't-be-an-idiot-face_, and had been directed at him time and time again. "Don't you want to think about what you're going to say, before you storm off and have a fit?"

Merlin shrugged. "I'll make it up as I go along. There's no telling how he's going to respond, really."

"Sure there is." Throwing his jacket onto the bed, Arthur walked over to him, and Merlin eyed the mess Arthur had made, despair rising in his throat. Arthur was worse than he was when it came to tidyness, and he'd point that out to Gaius when the subject would come up again. Arthur's hand twirled in the air. "For instance, when _you_ say…"

"I know you lied to me.."

"_He'll say_ : 'I didn't. Your mother can't be trusted, Merlin.' And he'll try to make you believe him instead." Merlin groaned inwardly. Arthur prided himself with understanding how the enemy's mind worked, and it didn't matter how often he'd tried to make Merlin see this, too, the desired result never came. Merlin was still as clueless as ever when it came to none-magical foes.

"Alright, then what?"

"Then…" Arthur fell silent. "I don't know." Alright, so he wasn't the only one feeling clueless. "Just don't be nice to him."

Merlin smiled. "Oh, don't worry, Arthur. I'll just act like a complete prat." He walked to the door, pausing before he left. "Learned from the best." He teased, just before the door fell into place.

-

Arthur

He didn't like this one bit, and it wasn't because he thought Merlin to be dumb and gullible,… not really. Garreth was just too charming, too slick… and there was no way he would be giving up whatever he was planning just because Hunith tried to stop him.

The harsh knock on the door, disguised as an easy rhythm, made him abandon this train of thought, and he called softly for the person to enter. When the door creaked open, and two familiar eyes peered into the room, he wished he hadn't.

"What do you want?"

"I was wondering if you had seen Merlin. I'd like to talk to him." His voice, so smooth and warm, so completely at ease and certain of his own victory, spoke not of a question, but more of an order. Merlin _would_ speak with him, whether he want ed to or not.

"No idea." Arthur slowly said, making sure Garreth knew he was lying. He would not back down – he would keep his promise. "In fact, I wouldn't go looking for him if I were you." He walked over to the intruder, trying to get him to back down. If he were anything like Merlin, however, he would just continue to be annoying (Arthur had learnt that the hard way) and sure enough, Garreth didn't seem the slightest bit afraid.

"Oh really?" He frowned. "Any particular reason why I should do that?"

"Because _I_ don't trust you. And I can confidently say that you won't like the outcome when you don't." His voice was a slow, deep rumble – and he felt the protectiveness over Merlin kick in, just like that. He'd kill for his friend, there was no doubt about it, and at times like these, it was all the more apparent.

Garreth nodded, a slow smile spreading on his face."Oh, goody. I'll try to keep that in mind." He tilted his head, peering at the prince through eyes that more resembled those of a reptile than they did those of a man. "Anything else, your highness?"

-

Merlin

"I'm sorry, Merlin. Your father's not on the clock right now. He usually comes in around five, to prepare for supper." The woman smiled at him, kindness radiating from her eyes, and Merlin couldn't keep from returning it. He swore that despite all of his anger, he would never be cold enough not to acknowledge kindness when he met it, and this woman was no exception.

Her eyes shone. "He talks of you often, Merlin. You can tell he's proud to be your father." She put a hand on his arm, squeezing gently. "I know it's not any of my business, but I know he's desperate for you to give him a second chance. He's changed, Merlin. I can tell."

Merlin felt confused. "Did you… did you know him before he came to Camelot?"

She nodded. "We met on his travels, and he was always kind to me. He's a good man, Merlin. You can trust him." She patted his jacket softly, then sighed. "I'm afraid it's back to work for me. But you come and visit whenever you like, it feels as if I've known you forever."

-

Walking back to his master's quarters, he damned Arthur for living on the top floor of the castle, the steps too tiring for this day. Midway, he paused to catch his breath, disguising it as _casually leaning against the wall for no apparent reason._ It was then that he saw his father. Garreth came down the stairs, easily flying over the harsh stone levels. He stopped abruptly when he saw his son, and swallowed uneasily to show his distress.

"I've just talked to Arthur." He said, biting his lip in sadness. "I don't think he likes me very much."

Merlin grinned slowly. "Arthur seems like a prat to anyone who doesn't know him." He paused. "I was just heading up there, myself. I came from…"

"I suppose he thinks I'm going to pull you away from here." Garreth interrupted sternly, trying to make sure Merlin understood exactly what his master was up to. "But that's not what I want, Merlin, not at all." He took a step closer, his breath now grazing Merlin's bare flesh when he exhaled. "If you decide to forgive me," he whispered, "I just want to stay here, in Camelot. This is your home now, and if you let me, it could be mine as well."

Hunith's warning faded in his mind, his anger sinking to a level where it was almost unnoticeable. Garreth was asking him for a second chance, he was pleading with Merlin to forgive him. "Camelot is my home," he confirmed. "and it always will be." He couldn't answer his father now, he couldn't make a promise in this state of confusion.

He needed to talk to Arthur.

-

"There was a woman in the kitchen who asked me to forgive my father." Merlin was folding Arthur's clothes into neat heaps while the prince ate his supper, and he spoke to the red jacket instead of to his friend. "She said she knows him from before, and…" Arthur turned in his seat, observing Merlin, almost staring him down to measure his emotions, trying to figure out where he stood. If only Merlin knew himself. "…and she said he's never been anything but kind to her."

Merlin looked at him sideways, the blue eyes trying to find some sort of confimation in Arthur's behaviour, something that told him he wasn't being foolish. The prince folded his arms, a slight frown appearing between his eyes. "And I saw Garreth after that…he didn't seem like the person my mother described, and I think.."

He turned to the window, for some reason not wanting to see the disapproval he knew would reign in Arthur's features when he spoke the next words. "…I think I owe it to him to give him a second chance. And if he screws it up, then it's over."

Arthur cleared his throat. "Well, I _know_ for a fact that that would be one of the _worst_ ideas you've ever had." He stood, walked around the bed and forced Merlin to look him in the eye.

Merlin's gaze travelled from the window to the other side of the large matress, and he sighed slightly. "I knew you'd say that, but I believe…"

"The woman could have been _hired_ by him to say those things to you." Arthur explained. "I don't think him to be above that kind of bribery."

"But she was." He stressed. "I know she wasn't lying to me, Arthur. I could tell she knew what she was talking about."

Arthur shook his head. "Your father is just playing you for a fool."

"He sounded sincere."

"Of course he did! For goodness sake, Merlin!" Arthur nearly shouted. "I can't believe you're being so damn stupid you can't even tell why he's still here! The only reason he even stayed in Camelot is because you're _MY_ servant now, can't you see that? He never thinks of anyone but himself, and he's just using you to get what he wants_._"

Arthur

It wasn't until after his little tantrum had been thrown into the air, that he realized exactly what he'd said. His chest heaving, he tried to slow down his breathing as he saw the pain enter Merlin's large blue orbs. They became hazy, a deep mist clouding the clear vision.

The silence surrounding them was so heavy. If anything, Arthur wished that he could turn back time, to an era where the words had not been spoken, though in his mind they were probably dangerously close to the truth. Be that as it was, he had hurt the person standing in front of him by speaking his suspicions, and Merlin's hand, that had been raised in argument, fell slowly to his side. The movement, and the accompanying expression, were filled with bitter disappointment and a deep aching.

Merlin pushed back the rising emotion in his throat, not wanting to show how much the strung together sentence had cut him. If it had been any other argument, with any other person, Arthur would have been slightly proud, convinced that this was the only way to get out of a fight relatively unscathed. _You have to reign in your own emotions to land another blow, for if you do you will be walking away the victorious one._

This time, his own belly constricted when he looked at Merlin, the pain so clear in all his features. "Merlin.."

"Wow." Merlin breathed the word out, his chest rising and falling slowly. "I didn't think we'd ever get here.."

"We're not." Arthur tried to reason with him. "If you'd just think about it, you'd see that."

"You know, Arthur," Merlin began with a passion, "there ARE some people who see me for _me_, and not just as your servant. I do have a life beside tending to your every whim and need, and if you weren't such a child you'd actually be able to clear the table by yourself."

"Merlin, stop being such a damsel." Arthur sneered. "You're blowing this up just so can have an excuse to feel _right _about this decision you're making."

"An excuse?" Merlin bit his lip. "Yes, Arthur. You're right. I'm _just_ looking for a way to prove that I actually know what I'm doing." He bit the words out, the sarcasm hanging heavily on every syllable. "Here's an excuse," he said, throwing his hands in the air. "I'm done. Get yourself another puppy to boss around."

"Merlin."

The door slammed, and Arthur hung his head. _"You must look out for him,_" Hunith's voice haunted him, her words cutting him in the aftermath of the fight.

"_Promise me you will.."_

* * *

_Okay, pleaaase tell me what you think? It means the world to me! Xo, as always!_


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N : Hey you guys! I'm back.. and it's the aftermath of the fight. You know, I was listening to a song earlier (and am about to put it on again), it's called "My buddy" and it's a Chet Baker version of the song. One of the lyrics is '**_**My buddy, my buddy, nobody quite so true/ my buddy, my buddy, your buddy misses you.**_**' The rest of the song is a bit too – romantic? – to fit Arthur/Merlin friendship, but these lyrics were just perfect. *grins* **

**Anyway, I really hope you'll like this chapter, it would mean the world to me if you'd review! Please?**

**Xo, as always**

Arthur

So there it was. The empty plate defied him, yet he refused to pick up the pieces and actually _clean_ up his own mess . Even if he had wanted to, it seemed he didn't know how to begin. Having watched Merlin do this a hundred times over somehow hadn't registered in his mind, and he just gazed at the chunks of left over pork, at the vegetables that had been carelessly thrown aside. Awkwardly, he reached for it, grasping the cold material.

He was saved by a knock on the door, and after letting the plate fall back to its original position, he cleared his throat to get rid of the dry feeling that had settled there ever since Merlin had left. "Yes?"

Gwen walked in, her head bowed slightly, yet she was acutely _there_. "I was wondering if you knew where …" She looked upon the chaos that had descended over the room, and she shook her head slightly, her smile never faltering. "…where Merlin was," she finished. "But I can tell you don't."

The next words were spoken in a rush, breathless. For some strange reason, he didn't need, or want, air to aid him in saying this. "Merlin's not here anymore."

She seemed to worry about this latest development, and her expression spoke all that she could not say. "So this rattling sound was you trying to clean up after yourself? Why would he leave you?"

"I may have said _some things_ that perhaps I shouldn't have." Arthur walked over to the window ledge, noticing how her eyes followed his every movement. They travelled with him, and it almost appeared as if she could sense his distress. "I was trying to help him, but it seems I've made things even worse than they already were."

She frowned again, still not comprehending why such a loyal servant would suddenly abandon the master he would give his life for. The prince he'd saved on many occasions. "It was that bad?"

"Yes." There was no point in hiding the truth from her, and knowing how close she was to Merlin, _she_ would be able to do good instead of blab like a fool about how Merlin's job affected his entire life. He pinched his brow, closing his eyes for the briefest of seconds. "Yes, Guinevere, it was that bad."

"Then just apologize!" She stepped forward in all her enthusiasm, her wish for things to be _alright_ again pouring from her. "Merlin cares about you, you'd be a fool if you didn't know that by now." Her voice softened. Whispering. "And I can tell you care about him. He will forgive you. I'm certain of it."

"I don't know how to... _by the way_," he defended himself, his anger building, "I _did_ say I'm sorry, and he just wouldn't believe me. If he wants to be an idiot about this, maybe I should let him." _No_. For all the stupid decisions Merlin might make, it was up to Arthur to make sure he actually lived to see the day. " But it's this thing with Garreth that's got me worried – some idiot I actually consider to be my _friend_ is walking into a trap with his eyes wide open, and I just can't stand by and watch him do it."

"You should protect him from that man," she reasoned. "I don't trust him."

"Neither do I, but Merlin might. Actually, because of what I said, I may have driven him to it." he paused. "Sometimes, I have trouble knowing what to say."

She smiled confidently. "We'll make it all right again."

-

Merlin

To be honest, he had no idea what he was going to do now. Taking care of Arthur might be tiring, but at least it kept him busy – it kept his mind occupied. When he was around Arthur, he could momentarily forget about whether he would forgive his father or not, and when the subject wouldn't leave him, he could talk to the prince about it.

At least, that's what he'd thought.

He kicked at a rock that lay in his path, watching as it bounced against the wall before shattering through the impact. _Two halves._ How ironic.

He couldn't believe Arthur had said what he had, how he had spat out the words, not even aware of the venom they would instill inside his servant. Was he really that selfish? For a few months, Merlin had deluded himself into thinking Arthur might actually _care_, yet now the truth abandoned its hiding place and stared him straight in the face. He feared it, he wouldn't deny that fact. The pain almost equaled the anger that possessed him, the desperate need to scream his lungs out, to puncture Arthur in the way he had been stabbed.

Making his way toward the stables, he didn't even think of asking Arthur if he could borrow a horse – _he_ had been the one mucking out the stables ever since he had become servant to the great prince, and right now, _he_ was the one who deserved to flee the kingdom. Tearing at the open grounds, he didn't care where he went, as long as it was far far away from where he was now.

The wind struck him in the face and he pushed the stallion to go faster, ever faster…away.

-

Arthur

"Merlin's about to give Garreth another chance." He had, as always, not bothered with knocking when he entered Gaius' laboratory, not caring if Merlin were there or not. Let him yell, let him rage, it didn't matter. Arthur had a duty to protect him, and he would not stop until this nightmare was over.

The man responded as if time had lost all its meaning. The eyes that resided behind the glass seemed ageless, the fear only adding to their depth. His left hand caught a hold of the frame, and he pulled the optical aid from its resting place, leaving it dangling in the air. "Are you positively sure about this?"

He nodded. "I think it's up to us to make sure that doesn't happen. Any ideas on how to stop Merlin from making one of the biggest mistakes he's _ever_ made?"

"None." Gaius' sadness turned to a question. "I thought he was with you, today."

His gaze traveled to the far window, gliding past the endless stacks of books, past the wooden structure that made out Merlin's door. He bit his tongue before clearing his throat . "Unfortunately, the situation has changed to one where I'm not too sure he'll trust me when I speak to him." Arthur took a breath and held it, hoping it would clear his mind of failing plans and harsh words. "So if we're going to help him, I need you to make sure he thinks it's just _you_ being a hero."

"I was under the impression Merlin was faithful to you beyond all boundaries, sire. I'm sure he would listen when you spoke." His conviction was strong and touching, and he spoke of knowledge. Arthur wasn't quite as certain.

"Things have changed." He turned his face so there would be no betrayal of his emotion in the old man's vision, the guilt spreading inside his soul like wildfire. "I need you now more than ever, physician."

-

Merlin

Even years after this day, he would look back and think of what a fool he had been to wander too far. He knew nothing of this place, nothing of the dents and dangers; the place where road turned into water, or rock turned into nothingness was like a hidden secret, and his confidence was failing him. Somehow, the heat of the angry flame had turned to glowing ember that filled him with haziness and doubt. He struggled to recall the image of Arthur's tantrum, of the exact emotion when he'd turned Merlin away.

His companion grew restless, and Merlin struggled to regain control while he flew…  
then fell, landing onto the hard ground with a heavy thud.

_Ok, please tell me what you think? And don't worry too much about that sort-of-cliffhanger, it was just something that came to me. Pleaaaase review?_

_XO, as always_


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N : Hi everyone! *waves* Once again, I want to thank you so much for all the support you've given me, it means the world to me! I really hope you'll like this chapter, and please please please let me know? I'll give you a bunch of cookies!**

**XO, as always!**

Arthur

"Arthur!" He could hear her soft voice calling him before he caught sight of her. She ran towards him through the hallway, the panic she felt crashing into him like a tidal wave. "There's no sign of Merlin, and one of your horses has returned without its rider."

"What do you mean, there's no sign of Merlin? Surely _someone _must know where to find him." A thought entered his head, but he refused to believe it was true. "Has someone asked his father?"

"No." Her face fell. "Do you think that's where he went? It doesn't explain the unmanned horse, does it?"

It didn't. But there was a possibility Merlin had turned to Garreth when everything had fallen apart, hoping that the stranger might provide some answers… even if they were the wrong ones. He sighed. Asking Garreth if he knew where Merlin was would be humiliating, it would prove to Garreth that he had finally gotten the upper hand, but there was nothing else he could do. No other way to turn.

Damn it. If he hadn't pushed Merlin away, none of this would even be happening. There would be no possibility of Merlin getting hurt – physically or otherwise – and they'd just be…friends again. He made up his mind. "I'll go. It's important not to let him know about Merlin's disappearance."

She nodded, trying to look strong in front of him, trying to be brave and confident – not as if the walls came closing in around her. She almost succeeded.

-

"I don't suppose you've talked to Merlin since that charade you played in the stairwell?" Arthur picked up the potato that lay on the kitchen counter, one lost sheep that had not been discovered, and threw it into the air, catching it again and again. "I won't let you hurt him." He fixed his eyes on the smug face, trying to detect a hint of the truth.

"It won't be long until he reaches me, my lord. Rumour has it he hasn't been your servant since you fought this afternoon." He grabbed at the object Arthur had been toying with, and expertly set his knife to the jacket, peeling it off in one smooth effort. "I have a feeling Merlin's going to need someone to turn to."

"You should check your sources." He said. "Because the _only _people your son will be turning to have been living in this castle for quite some time now. Gwen and Gaius will be able to comfort him in the way he needs to."

If Garreth had seen Merlin, there was no doubt that he'd tell Arthur not to worry, that his sources were firsthand, and that Merlin had already unpacked in that sad bungalow he called a house. But he didn't, and though Arthur should feel relieved, the only sentiment that grew inside of him was dread, and a clear sense of purpose filled his mind. He was riding out tonight.

-

When he entered the stables and his eyes found the abandoned horse, saddle still in place, he felt overwhelmed. Knowing the image would haunt him every second he was gone, every place he met without his friend, made it feel like all air supply had been denied him, and he had to swallow hard to regain his composure.

"There's no blood on his flank." Gwen sounded almost surprised. She stood in the doorway, a torch in one hand, the other one pulling gently at her dress to make sure it floated slightly above the filthy ground. "If he'd been badly injured, surely there must be some…_sign?_"

He would lie to her if it would make her fear go away. He couldn't _not_ give her that. So he nodded, knowing it might come back to haunt him, praying that it wouldn't. "I'm sure he'll be fine, Guinevere. Knowing Merlin, he's probably just wandering about the land, confused as to why his horse ran off. "

She smiled slightly. "That does sound like something he'd do." Turning around, she looked over her shoulder one last time. "Please… make sure he gets home safely."

Merlin

He clutched his leg and tried to move it so it lay atop a harsh rock, needing the pain to disappear so he could just go home. He felt the tears well up, desperately trying to escape from the eyes that held them captive. Merlin searched his mind for a hint of a spell that cured leg wounds, but he drew up a blank.

Falling onto his back, that ached as well, he looked up at the sky. The moon had already appeared, beaming a soft light that seemed a million times more powerful than that of the stars. But the moon wasn't sending the light, it was merely the reflection of the sun. The poor dead moon was doing something a heated sun was ordering him to.

It was insane how he tried to make things work – give the world around him explanations that would help him figure out his own mess : the fight he'd had with Arthur, the questions surrounding his father… none of it made sense anymore.

It seemed almost hours later before he heard the man approaching, the steady sound of hooves falling to the earth. "Hello?" He called out, and everything went silent. "I need your help," he tried again. "Please, I'm hurt."

He watched anxiously as the figure broke through the wall of nature (because _of course _he'd fallen somewhere hidden by plants and trees) and looked down at him. "You about ready to go home, Merlin?"

-

He couldn't believe it. Of _all_ the people who might pass here, it was the one person he didn't want to see that came to his rescue. Great. Now Arthur would _really_ believe Merlin to be incapable of doing anything right without him by his side. Merlin bit his lip, shaking his head resolutely. "Staying here seems like a very good option."

"Right." Arthur feigned understanding. "Because, well, someone will cross this area again in a few days. I'm sure you'll be able to eat a few berries… nurture yourself." He looked angry for some reason and simply because Merlin had decided he didn't have _any_ right to be, he stubbornly refused to answer.

Arthur inhaled deeply, then descended and stood before his injured servant, placing his hand on his hips. "Don't be ridiculous, Merlin. You need to come home." He crouched down and examined the propped up leg. The expression on his face suddenly turned to worry, but Merlin was blind to it. "What else hurts?"

"As you can clearly see, _my lord_, I'm no longer useful to you. You might as well leave me here, my life is over."

Arthur

Oh, right, and _he_ was the prat? Huffing, he walked over to Merlin and grabbed him beneath the knees and shoulderblades, ignoring the baffled protest, and the fist that pounded on his chest before Merlin cringed in pain, causing him to shut up. "As soon as I'm able to walk, I'll make you pay for this."

"Sure you will. Right now, you need to tell me what hurts, so I don't end up making things worse than they already are. You can be mad at me all you want when you're safe and sound, cuddled up inside your bed."

-

Merlin

He wouldn't forgive Arthur just because he'd been decent enough to go look for him, no doubt because of some reason that was all about himself. But he'd secretly hoped it would be him walking through his bedroom door, checking on him, instead of Garreth.

"I heard you were injured and I wanted to see if you were okay." The smooth voice spoke easily, stating the purpose for his visit. But that wasn't all, it seemed. "And I wanted to ask you if you'd given any thought about giving me a second chance."

"I have." Merlin looked down at his sheets, twisting and turning his finger into the fabric until it was caught. It throbbed. "If you screw up again, I will never forgive you for it, but for now…." He took a breath. "I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I denied you the chance I would crave if I made a mistake."

Garreth looked pleased, a smile playing on his face, but it faded away, making place for a straight, thin line. "I heard you had a fight with Arthur. I hope it's not because of something I _did_, or _said_? I never wanted to come between you. If Arthur's important to you, he's important to me, as well." He paused. "I want to be a part of your life, Merlin. If Camelot is where you belong, then.."

"I don't know." The words slipped past his lips and crazily enough, he believed every word. He cleared his throat to explain and take away Garreth's confusion. "I don't know if I still belong here. Maybe I never did."

_Please please please tell me what you think? It really means everything to me! _

_XO, as always - and hugs and cookies!_


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N : Hey everyone, I'm so sorry this chapter was so long in the making, but it took me a while to figure things out. I really hope you'll like it. Now, this will be the last chapter (feel like crying again, I'm always so sad to part with a story!) and I would just... I'd like to thank you all so much for your support through it all. You've been amazing, really, I'd be nowhere without you. Every review meant the world to me, you're all the best reviewers a writer could hope for.**

**PLEASE, let me know what you think of this last chapter?**

**XO, as always  
hugs, kisses and cookies**

Prologue : Merlin

With every step he took, his beliefs would change. The sound of his dragging feet, slow through the injuries he'd suffered, was a reminder of the way things had changed. But to leave this place, not knowing if he would ever return, seemed too heavy…somehow…it crashed down on him, like a steady pressure on his shoulders. He felt himself falling without ever touching the ground.

There was only the one room that still beckoned him, the person he knew he needed to see one last time. Touching his fingers to the hardwood, he let them slide down to rest on the handle. Merlin closed his eyes and leaned against the door, his head rocking from side to side. He could not do this.

"_Maybe you need a little time to yourself,"_ Garreth had gently suggested. _"Everything here will remind you of what happened, and that's something you don't need right now."_ He inched closed to his son, and lay a hand on his arm. _"Come away with me."_

It had seemed like a good idea, then. A short trip away would clear his head, it would make things easier to bear. The possible repercussions only seemed to hit him now, as if they had waited especially for this moment only to land the final blow. The idea of never…

Something crashed to floor, and without thinking twice, Merlin turned the handle and stepped inside.

-

"You can't _leave_." That's what she'd told him, her eyes wide with pain and sadness. There was anger in there, as well, and it amazed him how the three words she'd spoken could hit him with such ferocity. It was a plea wrapped up in all the ways she'd blame him if he actually went through with this. Gwen stepped back from him, shaking her head to try and make it be a dream – this couldn't be the truth, because if it was, then.. "You can't do this to us."

"Gwen," he started, hesitant to wake her up from the possibility of slumber. "I didn't want to hurt you."

"Yes you do." She took a breath. "You're trying to hurt him, Merlin, and he doesn't deserve it."

He bit his lip. If he would explain this to her in the way he desperately needed to, he would admit his own failure, his own childishness. The truth, however, was that he didn't want to hurt Arthur, in fact, he knew he would only be hurting himself. He just…he couldn't be _here_, anymore. "This has nothing to do with Arthur."

"Don't lie to me," she whispered. "Don't leave like this."

"I thought…" he knew his eyes were filling with tears, knew the rising heap of emotion in his throat could ammount to no good, but he also knew he owed her this – she'd always been there by his side, always true… "He's not the friend I'd hoped he was." He swallowed, hard, then tentatively walked over to her, reaching for the embrace he craved. "I promise you, I'm not leaving to hurt him. I need to go because just _being here.._hurts too much."

She walked into his arms, letting him envelop her, and she clutched his back while he buried his face in her shoulder, hoping he would never have to let go. "He cares about you," she murmured. "I truly believe that."

Merlin smiled sadly. "I wish I could."

Arthur

"He's leaving." He tried to drown out the words she'd spoken but they would not rest. They echoed in his being, causing spikes to fly to his heart. He'd hoped it would never come to this, but it seemed things were beyond his power now. He could not control this any more than he could turn back time. "He's leaving because it hurts him to be here."

"I can't change that."

"Of course you can!" He smiled slightly. Gwen always made him feel much braver than he actually was. "If he thought you cared, he'd remain by your side, always!"

Arthur shook his head, swinging the blade he held around his body, a soothing rhythm to slow his thoughts. "There's nothing I can say to make him stay."

She groaned. "You have no idea how badly I'd like to knock your heads together to make you both realize.. Please just talk to him. _Try_."

-

She was right. Of course she was. But he was afraid that if he went through with that and actually tried to make him stay – he would fail. Knowing that he was the one that made Merlin want to leave in the first place was bad enough, but if he pushed him even further… he could not bear it.

But he owed it to Merlin to try.

Merlin

"What are you doing?" He sounded like a fool, he knew that. The sight that greeted him upon entering Arthur's room couldn't be interpreted in any other way than the obvious one, but he desperately wanted to believe his eyes betrayed him.

Garreth did not cast his gaze down in shame, in fact it seemed as if he defied Merlin by radiating a sense of _righteousness._ The duffel bag slung around his shoulder was slightly opened and the shape of it betrayed its heavy weight. "Are you trying to steal from Arthur?"

There was no shame in his expression, no trembling in his voice. He just jutted out his chin, proud of the actions that betrayed his true nature. "He deserves this for what he did to you, Merlin." Merlin shook his head. This had not been about doing what was right by him, and it never had been. He couldn't believe he'd been so stupid.

More than ever, he recalled Arthur's words. The prince may have screamed the words in pure anger, but they had been the truth. _The only reason he even stayed in Camelot is because you're MY servant now, can't you see that?_ He hadn't been able to see it then, but everything had become clear as glass the moment he'd caught his father in the act.

"I can't believe they were all right about you. You planned this from the very beginning…" he took a few steps closer to the man he'd tried to forgive, not knowing if his anger overruled the sadness that consumed him. "…getting closer to me to get to Arthur. You're a liar."

"Just…" Garreth walked to Merlin, his hands that still held treasure outstreched in a pityful attempt to make amends for the hundreth time in just a few short days. "… just listen to me for a second. Because unlike you, I don't base every decision of my life on my _feelings_." He actually felt sorry for Merlin, an ammount of pity for the way his son had turned out to be : loyal and true… caring.

"I've thought this through. Think of what a team we'll make. Father and son. I have been a con man for a long time now, and your powers will only add to the greatness we can achieve."

His voice dropped a notch in sadness. "I've been a pawn all my life, Merlin. I could never pull off things like this – we could tower over the world, you and I, walzing over the rich and useless. Think about this with your head. Not your heart."

"Right." Merlin said, advancing on his father, his eyes never straying from the objects he was holding in his worn, worldly hands. "The thing you've forgotten, is that your pawn gave life to my knight." He raised his eyes, staring his father in the face. He actually _believed_ what he was preaching. "And though I may be unconventional for the position, there's _no_ way I'm ever giving up on my King. You don't know anything about me if you think I'd ever turn my back on Arthur."

"If I'd known your mother would raise you to be such a fool, I'd have come back a lot sooner." He rolled his eyes in annoyance at Merlin's clumsiness, though he should feel proud at the dedication between his son and the prince.

"No, you wouldn't have." Tears welled up in his eyes as he regarded the man standing in front of him, clearly betraying everything Merlin stood for: loyalty to Arthur, honesty, and just plain decency. "You'r e too selfish for that."

"While you're all noble and trustworthy. Tell me something, Merlin, if you consider Arthur your friend, I assume he knows then, about your gifts?" A devious streak gleamed in his deep blue orbs, and Merlin felt his breath catch.

"He does." The lie was extremely unconvincing, and both of them knew it.

"Hm." Garreth pondered. "And still he trusts you? I personally believe he'd kill you on the spot. I think I'll test the waters just a bit."

"Don't." Taking another step forward, a hint of a plea crept into his voice, and he hated himself for it. "Selfish as you are, you wouldn't condemn your own son to die."

"Try me."

"You're leaving Camelot." Merlin repeated the statement he'd already hurled at his father in what seemed like a lifetime ago. "I'll call the guards on you, and I'm pretty sure you'll be the one Arthur kills, and not me." He smiled and victory beamed on his face. "Your relevation of my secret will be nothing more than a desperate attempt to avoid execution yourself, and no one will believe a word you say."

-

Garreth had left not long after that. After another round of venomous words about how weak Merlin had become, how he was nothing more than a brainless failure, he had thrown down every object he had gathered and stormed from the room.. Well, after Merlin had _made sure_ he had nothing secretly hidden beneath the layer of his clothes.

Blocking out the tears, he'd set out to replace every item, knowing the set-up by heart. This was where he belonged, it always had been. If only… The door swung open behind his back and he knew who'd stand there in the doorway, his whole body angled against the frame. He bit his lip so hard he could taste the blood. After putting down the last object, he threw the bag into the corner of the room.

"Not now, Arthur." He pushed past the prince. This seemed like the umpteenth time he'd fled the room. Always running, always scared. He didn't look at Arthur's face. He didn't dare to.

-

If anyone would ask him about the place he'd felt most like himself, he would tell them it was here. Among the trees, along the rockformation… the deep brown colour of dirty earth and the glowing light of sun filtered by the leaves.

"I thought I might find you here."

He nodded slightly, the pain still being to evident in his voice. "Congratulations," he called back. "Please leave."

"I'm not going to leave you, Merlin." Arthur sunk down beside him, staring off at the place of wonder – this is where they'd come face to face with the purest form of life, where they'd looked upon the unicorn as it gracefully walked away. It seemed like ten years ago instead of only a few months, but every single detail of that day stayed with him. Their confrontation on the beach, the helplessness he'd felt when Arthur sacrificed himself…it was there, everywhere he went.

Yet he'd forgotten. _"Arthur was willing to sacrifice his life to save yours. He has proven what is truly in his heart."_ Those words had been pushed to the back of his mind, as if they'd never even existed. All he'd been able to think about for the last few days had been the way they'd fought. He'd been too stubborn, he could see that now.

He glanced at Arthur from the corner of his eye, saw the way he clutched his hand, and immediately felt the worry creep into his veins. "What happened to your hand?"

Arthur cleared his throat. "Nothing," he said. "Might have taken a swing at someone."

Merlin smiled. Just like Arthur to go all ballistic and try to punch his father's lights out. "You didn't get hurt?"

"_WHO_ do you take me for? Of course I didn't get hurt." Arthur turned to him, willing Merlin to look him in the eye. "I'm sorry for what he did."

One breath in. One breath out. The world would keep on turning, even though it would hurt for a while. All he could do was nod like a sad confused little boy. "And I'm sorry for what I said."

"You were right." His voice hitched on the sentence and he wished it didn't. He felt bad enough as it was, there was no need to feel weaker as well. "I should have listened to you."

"I didn't want to be." Those words were the truth – Merlin felt it deep inside of him. Arthur wouldn't lie about this. Or at least, he wasn't at the moment.

Arthur

"Listen, Merlin…" he started again, hesitant. "If you repeat _any_ of this to _anyone_, I will make you beg for mercy, but…"

He touched Merlin's shoulder, his hand resting there as a comforting presence. "You're my friend…and I want you to stay."

"Is that an order?"

"It's a _request_, you idiot."

Merlin turned to Arthur. "Does this mean you actually _like_ having me around?"

Arthur groaned. "You're really going to pry this out of me, aren't you?"

"This is a window of opportunity. I _know_ I'm not going to get this chance again in the next fifty years."

"Well, I guess you'll have to stay and find out, won't you?" Arthur stood, reaching down his hand to pull Merlin up, who gladly took it.

At that moment, when their hands connected, they both knew Merlin would stay. There'd be other fights, sure… but there'd be other things as well… and they'd pull through it all.  
Together.

_Oh, pleaaaase tell me what you think? Pleaaase?  
__hugs, kisses and cookies! _

_PS : I'm currently working on another story called 'Phoenix, don't you die'... Please check it out? it would mean so much to me!_


End file.
